Ruth was my whole life and she was quite the most wonderful, happiest and bravest person I have ever met, who never uttered a bad word about anything or anyone and never complained despite her serious health problems. Throughout our life together we loved each other very deeply and were utterly devoted to each other. We were very best friends and soul mates and Ruth was my rock, my incredibly devoted and caring wife, my beautiful and passionate lover, mother to our dear sons Nicolas and Roland, grandmother to our wonderful grandchildren, Daniel and Joccoaa and mother-in-law to our very, very dear Ann, Nicolas’ wife. Ruth loved us all and she was immensely proud of our whole family. She filled my life with pleasure. We loved each other more every day and we always went to bed and got up together... Every morning throughout our whole life when we awoke our first words to each other were “I love you”. Every night our last words were also “I love you”. We were so close that one of us wouldn’t walk to the post box without kissing the other goodbye and Ruth always waved me off to work and was waiting with a hug and kiss when I got home. We had the most perfect marriage. Ruth had a wonderful temperament and an impish sense of humour. She was never moody, never irritable, never rude, just calm and joyful throughout her life. We never argued or disagreed about anything in the 48 years we were together and Ruth led me gently through life, calmed my fears and cared for me as nobody else ever could. From the time we became friends I could talk to Ruth about anything and get sensible advice. We never ever lied to each other and never kept secrets apart from birthday and Christmas presents we had bought for each other. I am immensely proud and privileged to have been very close to Ruth for 48 years and to have been married to her for almost 45. Ruth was born and grew up in Sutton, Surrey, and attended Stanley Park School and, later, Old Palace School in Croydon. She was still at school when we first met. Ruth came from a large family with two brothers and two sisters. In her young days she was a Brownie and a Girl Guide. Ruth was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. We met in our late teens in 1964, rapidly became very friendly and soon fell in love. Before we were married we were both in the Air Cadets and it was when her Women’s Junior Air Corps unit moved to share our ATC headquarters that we met. The first moment I saw Ruth something happened in me and I wanted to get to know her. Ruth later told me that the same had happened to her when she saw me. We used to meet at the cadet social evenings and I would walk her home. We first went out as a couple on 31st March, 1964 and our love grew and grew. Ruth loved aeroplanes. She attended camps with the Women’s Junior Air Corps during which the girls were given flights in light aircraft. Ruth was very proud that she was flown by Diana Barnato-Walker, one of the very famous wartime women pilots and the first woman to break the sound barrier. Ruth joined the WRAF in late 1964 and soon became involved in activities which she enjoyed – including hockey and rifle and pistol shooting. Ruth was not competitive, preferring to do everything to the best of her ability rather than to beat others. Whenever I congratulated her on anything she had done, whether it was a superb piece of handiwork, a cake which she had made for one of our birthdays or, in recent times, just achieving something in the face of her illness, like climbing the stairs… she would simply reply “I tried my widdy best”. She always did. All the time Ruth was in the WRAF we wrote to each other every single day and all those letters are now among my most treasured possessions. I used to drive to see Ruth each weekend whilst she was in the WRAF and when she was training at Credenhill, Hereford I plucked up every ounce of courage and proposed to her on 28th February, 1965; she instantly said yes. We kept things to ourselves as the future was uncertain but she would wear her engagement ring when just the two of us were together. Just before Christmas I nervously sought permission from her parents for us to to be married. They were most enthusiastic and welcomed me to the family. However, as she was in the WRAF and I was still training for my career we waited until 1967 when we were married on 24th June at St Cecilia’s Church, Sutton. We spent our honeymoon in Jersey and neither of us had any experience of sunbathing on beaches. One morning we rushed to the sea and spent most of the day lying in the sun with no protection. We went back to the hotel and showered and were left with our skin peeling off which caused us agony if we dared to move for several days. We spent nearly 45 years making up for lost time. Immediately following our honeymoon I was posted abroad first to Malta and later to Libya. Ruth left the WRAF and joined me in Malta for a couple of months whilst our Libyan visas were arranged and then she returned home to pack everything for the move to Tripoli. Ruth soon rejoined me and just over a year later she gave birth to our first son, Nicolas Adrian. Tripoli was a lovely place but we came home when things became difficult in 1970 and lived in Witney, Oxfordshire. In 1971 Ruth gave birth to our second son Roland Dominic and she was totally over the moon at having two boys. She loved our sons dearly and was a wonderful mother as I am sure Nic and Roly would agree. We moved to Finchampstead in 1972, where we remain. I am a terrible worrier and became very depressed about her health, but nothing fazed Ruth; she could cope with any problem and frequently reassured me when I was worrying unduly right up until just before she died. Ruth was ever optimistic and positive about everything and never ever looked on the dull side. Ruth had a very strong constitution and I doubt if anyone except me ever saw her worried or emotional and that was about me in recent years when I became very depressed about her health and the future. Despite her problems she just wanted me to be happy. Ruth’s philosophy was don’t spoil today by worrying about tomorrow, which was a wonderful attitude to have. Ruth’s humour was always present. When she was granted a blue disabled parking badge she always referred to it as her “Spasi badge”. Ruth had the most easy-going way with her. We enjoyed each other so very much that we kept largely to ourselves and did everything possible together. Whatever one of us did always involved the other. We shared some hobbies and supported each others personal interests all our life together. We both enjoyed shooting for some years until arthritis affected her neck. Ruth was almost blind in her right eye from birth but this never worried her. We had left-hand rifles made for her and she would shoot as well as anyone using her left eye. Handicrafts in all forms were Ruth’s joy. She loved lacemaking for many years but had to stop when her fingers became stiff. However, she carried on patchwork and quilting until the end using her sewing machine. When Ruth was planning a new piece of lace, patchwork or other project she would always consult me about choice of design, colours, fabric, thread, etc. Her biggest project by far was the 8 ft by 8 ft bed quilt which she made as a wedding present for our very dear friends Stephen and Fiona. The quilt took 18 months to make and it became very difficult for her towards the end so I helped her to get it finished. It was undoubtedly Ruth’s pride and joy out of everything she had ever made. A few days ago I found that Coco, our granddaughter, had produced her first piece of patchwork especially for her granny. Granny would have been as pleased as punch to know that Coco. Some of Ruth’s quilts are with her now… Ruth was not interested in computers until some years ago when I casually mentioned that I had seen a forum called the British Quilt List so she had a look. This aroused her interest so we got her a laptop and she soon joined the fun. Later she also joined a patchwork postcard group and corresponded with quilters all over the world enthusiastically. For many years Ruth belonged to two local handicraft groups: North Downs Lacemakers and Log Cabin Quilters, both of which gave her the most enormous pleasure. She missed the meetings very much whilst she was in hospital and was thrilled to resume when she came home. Ruth actively participated in all their activities and enjoyed the meetings and friendship of other members so thank you to the members of those groups for bringing Ruth so much happiness. Up until the evening before she died Ruth was planning her contribution to the Log Cabin Challenge for next year’s exhibition. The subject was to be her beloved Eeyore, something very close to her heart. Ruth also had several quilts in the pipeline and her ill-health never reduced her enthusiasm. For a long time two dear friends – Gillian, who had been one of our bridesmaids, and Helen – would spend a day at our home each fortnight learning patchwork with Ruth. With her help and advice they have produced the most beautiful examples of the art, which made Ruth very happy. Ruth looked forward very much to those get-togethers so thank you Gillian and Helen for bringing her such joy. When ours sons were young Ruth made them quilts depicting their hobbies. Word got out and Ruth was invited to Pins and Needles magazine so that they could write an article about her. We showed them the one for our young son first, depicting various aspects of BMX cycling. That seemed to appeal. Next we showed them the one for our eldest son, which was covered in Heavy Metal symbols, which Ruth had diligently painted on to fabric! One of the elderly ladies in the office needed smelling salts! During her years of lacemaking Ruth made the most exquisite wedding garters for female members of the family and just one for a non-family member – Tui Fleming, daughter of our dear friends Bob and Pippa in New Zealand. I am immensely pleased that Tui’s sister, Holly, is with us here today. Holly is getting married soon and I hear that Tui has passed along her garter so that Holly’s wedding will have a token presence of Ruth. We had many relatives and friends in New Zealand and managed to make five trips there. People were often amused to know that Ruth might be shooting at Bisley one morning and working on the most delicate lace in the afternoon, but that was Ruth – she would turn her hand to anything. Ruth had excellent organisational and sewing skills which I am sure she inherited from her mother and the desire for perfection in whatever she did which came from her father. We also enjoyed the hobbies of birding, geocaching and geographing, which involved driving all over the country. Ruth loved maps and map-reading and always navigated. She would usually ensure that we followed narrow, winding roads to get the best views of the countryside and small villages. Ruth also successfully navigated us in America, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, The Cook Islands and Norfolk Island. There can’t be too many people here today holding a Cook Islands driving licence but Ruth did. How I shall find my way around now I do not know as she was always in the car beside me. Ruth loved watching sport on TV, especially Rugby, and she was one of the very few people who actually understood American Football! She read the sports pages every weekend and was immensely knowledgeable about all aspects of the sports she loved. Ruth had been very much looking forward to the Cup Final and the Olympic Games. So, did Ruth have any unusual ways? Well, she loved Marmite. I don’t and this always caused great fun with family and many other people. Whilst she was in hospital recovering from brain surgery some trainee doctors examined her and I asked if there was anything they could do about it but they shook their heads sadly… while Ruth nearly fell out of bed laughing!! In recent days I have received an enormous number of cards and contacts from lacemakers, quilters and others throughout the world who knew Ruth through their hobbies and the constant thread running through them has been about her kindness, smile, enthusiasm, good humour and ready willingness to help and encourage anyone with her craft skills. Ruth helped people in other ways too. Since she was in the WRAF she had been a regular visitor to the blood transfusion service and gave many pints of blood until she was put on Warfarin for her heart condition a few years ago. When I worked at Heathrow we used to collect for Guide Dogs. Ruth made many dozens of soft toys for sale to raise money for the fund. She also made quilts for Project Linus, which provides quilts for sick babies in hospital. She also knitted blankets for charity and was doing so the evening before she died. I am eternally grateful for all the kind words I have received, which give me enormous comfort knowing how much Ruth was loved and appreciated. I also received messages from people with whom I worked 30 years ago who told me that it was obvious from how I always talked about Ruth and hurried home from work that we must have had a very special relationship. We did. Ruth’s legacy is her love for me and our home full of the most beautiful and complex handicraft projects. Every room has examples of her work, ranging from patchwork quilts to the most exquisite lace and calligraphy. She made clothes for all of us, including shoes for me - a pair of which I am wearing today even if they are well worn. Quite simply Ruth was perfection and incredibly brave. She faced her health problems with remarkable fortitude and never ever complained or said she felt unwell. I often told her that I could never comprehend why she should have so many problems after a perfectly healthy life. Her reply was “I just drew a short straw and we’ll work around the problems”. I could not have wished for a better wife and we were deliriously happy all our time together. Ruth is now at peace and, Thank God, will not have to suffer the continued deterioration in her health caused by the incurable and untreatable Multi-System Atrophy. She bravely fought the disease and would never give in. After suffering a brain haemorrhage followed by pneumonia last December the doctors said she probably would not survive but she astounded them by pulling through and making a good recovery. She was doing very well after leaving hospital and her death came as a terrible shock. Ruth would not want you to grieve over her. She was forever cheerful and would want you all to be happy and remember the good times you had with her. Just be very grateful that, like me, we shared our lives with a most wonderful and remarkable lady. I am very grateful and deeply honoured to have been her husband and to have been with her for so long. A bright light which has burned in my life for over 48 years has been extinguished but she will always be with me in spirit. I have no idea how I shall cope but I pray for strength to do so in the coming months and years. Consolations I have are that Ruth loved me dearly; she is at peace and will not end her life terribly disabled in a care home and that at any time in the rest of my life if I have a problem I will just ask “What would Ruth do” because she would have the right answer.. Goodbye and God bless you my Very Dear Wife Ruth Angela and thank you from my heart for 48 truly magic years. I love you and owe you more than I could ever say.